Relationships
Well, what do you know?
It looks like relationships are not as cut and dried as we all thought.
Lol.
Why would you ever come to me about relationship issues?
You think my relationships are perfect?
Well, I do have one advantage most people don't have. I am trained as a neuro-linguistic programmer.
That makes an enormous difference. But it goes beyond that. My dad was a marine, my family were farmers, I worked for the meanest building contractors and I dealt with their wives. I learned things about relationships that work where the rubber meets the road.
When you talk with me, you'll find that I don't care if you get along with your spouse. Unless…… unless you want to get along better with your spouse. Then I'm all ears.
Relationships are very predictable. They are even predictable in the ways that they are unpredictable. Human beings are not that complicated, unless you're a psychologist, then human beings are nothing but complications.
If human beings were complicated, mentalists would not have a chance. Great salesman would not be consistently great. It’s possible that more problems have been solved with grandma, eating milk and cookies than with all the psychologists combined.
Depending on the things that you're working on, most of our relationship issues are habit driven, misunderstandings, loyal to the way we've always done it, etcetera.
The number of problems in a relationship with an individual, a family, a group of friends, all the way up to presidents and kings, can seem endless. Maybe they are endless. What do I know?
However, most of it breaks down into simple patterns that are backed by very common cultural, familial, and social constructed dialogue that generally meets the need.
You can't function without it. These patterns are necessary for the masses to be able to come together and work things out in a simple way. After 5 years of age and before 70 years, straight truth and intention is not really an approach that will work in the myriad of necessary situations.
Human beings have patterns of communication that sort themselves and switch from pattern to pattern as necessary to reach the desired need or the outcome that must follow the pattern used. We don't always use the right pattern but we still do OK.
But that didn't Help, did it? You need to know the patterns, don't you?
Well, maybe, maybe not.
We will start in a much simpler place. What are you trying to do and what is the response you're getting?
If you are getting the response you want, keep moving forward. If you are not getting the response you want, then we would examine the response you're getting and find out the code.
This gets into neuro-linguistic programming again. But most relationships stress can be knocked out of the sky with programming. If you are dealing with an extraordinarily difficult subject, further training in human patterns can be valuable. This is a good place to get that training.
Your unconscious mind will automatically do most of it for you. You will want to make it clear what you want, acknowledge thankfully what you are already getting, and learn how to direct your mind to get the new outcome. Once it's trained, it will do it automatically.
If you need further training in semantics, we'll have that conversation.
Call me.
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You know that long term friend?
Maybe you are married to that person.
There is a time and place in a relationship that has developed special moments. There are those glances across the table, a private joke, a realization that co-happens.
There's the warmth of a hand while walking the dog on a cool morning, the pleasant sharing of rich coffee at the breakfast nook or the little cafe downtown.
There is the deep satisfaction of a quiet home environment after the grandkids have gone home.
These are just a few of the pleasures in a relationship that works.
During the ‘high’ of dating, no one is looking forward to all the stupid fights and disagreements over nothing. No one is looking forward to a marriage that has degraded into silence and a roommate atmosphere.
There is an enormous variety of possibilities that creates unnecessary confusion.
There are usually a simple set of rules that will usually bring about the natural friendly tension that resolves into a very human and alive relationship.
The work required for a crappy relationship is exactly the same as the work required for a wonderful relationship.
The Eagles stated in their song, Lying Eyes, “Every form of refuge has its price.”
The question that I offer is this, if you are paying the price for a relationship, why not get the relationship you want?
There is probably an enthusiastic argument inherent against the following statement. Almost every man is the perfect husband and almost every woman is the perfect wife. If you already have a husband or a wife, it is quite likely you already have the perfect spouse.
We've all heard someone say, “My, your husband is so wonderful! “ or, “Wow, your wife is amazing!“
We are all aware of how easy it is to be absolutely wonderful to everyone except our spouse. We are also aware of how perfectly our spouses treat everyone except us.
The nature of cause and effect insists that one person can create all the change to produce a perfect marriage. In the name of fairness, sometimes a person is unwilling to do what it takes and sometimes for good reason. Those are the exception.
Your relationship might be a lot better than you think. The turnaround that brings about a better home life than you had ever imagined or thought possible could be right on the brink of success.
Or maybe not.
One thing is for sure, no one has the same fabulous objectivity in their own life as what we all have in someone else is. Right? When someone else is struggling, it's pretty easy to see where they're going wrong and what they need to do to get on the right track.
Take advantage of this strange human trait and call a skilled programmer at Accelerated Hypnosis.
The programmer will ask the few questions necessary to find out where you are and will draw out of you the few answers necessary to describe where you want to go.
Once that part's done, then is just a decision aligned with the practice of a few skills that a programmer knows, and your relationship will start shifting. Once it's shifting you can steer it.
It doesn't have to be perfect, just unstuck.
Here is to your relationship, the way you intended it to be.
Postscript: Humans are human and relationships are relationships. Doesn't it make sense that these same skills can be appropriately adjusted to improve relationships at work, play, extended families, and friends?
Let’s talk, we’ll see what happens!
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